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SWM 4 Younger SWM Seeks younger female for friends and possible more, nice clean swm avg body in good shape looking for a younger lady to go out and eat shop movie what ever occasonily for fun and frinedship.

Relationship Status:Actively looking
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Hair:Blue & black
Relation Type:If Married. Even Better 38 Md Dc Va 38

Beautiful couples searching dating Flint

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I keep telling myself you need to and talk to me because if you have forgotten that would literally be too much.

Doesn't matter where you're from, just want to have some fun. I lov comedy movies, watching, hiking, amusement parks, 4-wheeling. (: It's 2ish. I am not seeking for penetration just nipple play. If you like your pussy licked.


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Having a title sounds like it would be reassuring, but if you were forced to choose between having an amazing relationship or having the title, I am sure that you and any other woman would choose to have a great relationship. The good news is… it sounds to me like you do have that. At least, for the most part. I would say that it would be a good move for you to take a look at what your thoughts are on the matter.

Get objective, get clear. I would bet there were assumptions that you made that upset you that very well might not be the case. It is quite possible that if you talked with him calmly and rationally, it would put both of you at ease.

If either of you has a tendency toward anger, or jumping to conclusions, or assuming you know what the other person is thinking, etc. How much compassion are you willing to extend to him? How long are you willing to wait for him for him to come around? If he were to come around, how would he be in everyday life? How would you be in everyday life? Can you picture it clearly and realistically? All I can really do is shine some light on the situation.

I personally have had great results using Emma Marketing to manage my social media campaigns. You really should check it out: Got involved with a man that was living with his girlfriend. He and his twin brother let me believe that is was just for financial reasons that they were together.

Man is 45yrs old and love of his life ex-wife cheated on him and divorced him for a very wealthy man and moved away with his only son. He has been in an on again off again relationship with girlfriend for 12yrs where they both lie and cheat but rationalize their behaviors by what the other one is doing.

I have been seeing this man for 14 months. We went from being happy and making plans for the future to him reducing us to friends with benefits. When I do get there you are the woman I will want to be with, you are perfect in every way and nobody has ever been as good to me as you are.

His apartment has been in my name but he pays for it. The lease expires at the end of the month and he has informed me he is moving out. He says he knows they are toxic together and that he feels pity for her but he is more than likely moving back in with her at the end of the month. Then why is he moving back in with her? Why continue to see a woman that has lied, cheated, stole from him, and degraded him? Can someone please help? Hi,I was just friends with a guy classmate , and then one day we expressed our real feelings to each other.

We have known each other for 5 months. None of our mutual friends know about our relation because we me ,him,all our friends live in different cities now.

He doesnt have a job ,and needs one obviously. I told him I can wait till he has a job and feels more comfortable for a relation. It was more like a fight. I dont know what to make out of it. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years when I first met him he had lots of baggage I m not perfect but I smile a lot lol. I tried to fix his ways never happened, ok maybe a little. I left him a few times thought maybe he needed a wake up call was I right?

We have so much in common its nuts lol anyway.. I am just afraid if I land up wasting my time…. Everything up til this point has gone really good. But i feel if i push him out my life completely i cripple any chances of anything between us. Tonight we are going to the same gig and he has had alot of contact with me he phoned me this morning and i said how i miss us just talking normally even the pet name he used to call me, all day when he has been texting me he has been using it.

My husband and i separated four years ago after he had an affair. We tried to work it out but I was angry and hurt ad he eventually left. We have both seen other people, although I quit dating over a year ago to work on myself an take care of our son. He lived with a girl for almost 2 years that let him move in after he had to moveof his sisters. We talk daily and we always have an he recently moved out. During a coversation, he said it was because he was still married.

I know we still love each other and asked him if we could work on us. I am getting mixed signals. He also says he is hurt because I said mean things to him. I am not sure what to think! How does he feel?

What is he feeling? Why is it taking him so long to say how he feels? Could really do with some help. Will try and explain best I can. He is also scarred from his ex wife. They have two kids one is not his as she cheated she cheated lots in fact and he took her back twice. Anyway when he ment me we became good friends. I met his kids b4 we got together, he has never let a woman met his kids, he said he just knew we would be together and it felt right. So we did get together, I was not so keen.

I was planning to move away. He asked me to please give this a chance. I was mis treated as a kid and had been cheated on lots to. And it was amazing. We got on, had fun, I got on well with the kids, I met the ex just out of respect cuz of the kids. She has a partner also who is the kids step dad. So twos down the line, he started to quiet, withdrawn, I asked him what was wrong. So I kicked off as I do.

But I soon charmed down. I gave him time. It came to the kids weekend again, we said we wanted to keep things normal for them so we would spend time with them together. No reasoning behind it. But we started to argue, I became weak and needy. I would question if he was seeing her again.

Which he never would, his family and friends hate her and he could never trust her. But we both realised he is not over the pain and maybe not over her. Anyway I decided to contine standing by him, he would push me away, I would come back and he would let me back in. We are now 8 months down the line. We are not together but was getting on very well and sleeping together.

He would never use me tho. I am not a woman blinded by love or anything like that. Anyway, I saw the kids two weeks ago. He had gone to his ex and said me and him are getting on a lot better and I am in his life, and wants me to see the kids. So out the blue he text me and said come round all the family are here.

I saw them all, we had a great time. I said to him how come ur doing this. He said he wanted me there and he would deal with her after. So the ex played another game, text him that night and said she wanted to be a family again!! I was so upset. His mate was round who we have both known for years. He told me he had had words with her so that explained the text.

But it ruined the whole night for me. I started crying again. He cares for me a lot. So she rang him a few days later and said sorry and to ignore her. But the damage had been done to us again. I sat him down for a talk. I got a bit mad and wLk out. He said will I see u again. I said I will maybe see him in a week or so. Anyway stupid me went storming in the next day. I texted and called him a few days later which he ignored. I saw him and he said he was trying to sort himself out a bit.

I said if u want me out ur life just tell me. And he refused to tell me this. I told him let take two weeks out and clear our heads. And he could see as the relationship went on I got weaker and weaker and maybe he sees me as not up to the job of standing by him and being solid and strong. Is he trying to save me by letting me go because he can see I am getting hurt.

I am seeing a self help counseller at the mo, I am trying to rebuild my relationship with my mum and dad. I have done a lot already, but I know I need to do more work on me. I have just lost my way in all of this, I need to get strong, stop crying and worrying and toughen up. I text him yesterday saying I want to take responsibility and say sorry for my part of all this madness. I let go of my values and self-worth to try and please and got very depressed doing it.

I thought I could help u heal and move on. I may have gone about things all the wrong way, but I did it for the right reasons. Have a good weekend, please wish ur mum and dad happy anniversary from me. I will do xxx. So what do I do from here.

Do I just be a friend without sex. Do I walk away altogether and hope he will come back. Do I try and talk him into sorting himself out. Like I say I am not a love blind woman. But I know we can be good and get on. He knows we get on when we are both in the right frame of mind. We are good our sex life is amazing, we get on amazing, we trust each other. But I just need to work on being strong when I am in a relationship.

I really want to get this right. Can you please advice on what to do, it would mean the world to me. I have been engaged for 7 months,we are 55 years old and he will not set a date..

I thought when a gves a girl a ring hes ready to get married. Should i back away from the engagement and give him space and time to miss me in his life and reflect?

I am ready to take the ring off and tell him to never ask me again. This is a terrible situation to be in. My guy proposed finally after about 6 years. And he was losing mine quickly with each passing year. Another 10 years without marrying, and other situaions affected by that coming to a head, I finally left. And sadly even when he says he wants all those things, I want to believe him but I cannot.

Yes I am bitter. I loved that man completely and spent 17 years of my prime years with him and now may never have children because of it. By the way, he made me believe he wanted kids too. Had I left the year after the proposal, maybe he would have acted like he is now amd gotten his head on straight and gotten the job done. Or maybe I would have a beautiful family with some other fabulous man, a dream of mine that I have now had to grapple with letting go of because I wasted that biological time I had.

In your case, you are not taking the same risks I did. So you have to ask yourself how important marriage is to you and why? What would you be risking by staying and what would you lose if he never did marry you? Can you live with that? I said yes and I was expecting we would plan. We are extremely attracted to each other and we have an amazing time every time we are together. We act like a couple and have committed in the sense that we will only be sleeping with each other because I told him I have a rule that I do not sleep around — I only sleep with one man at a time.

He agreed and so we are exclusive — sexually. We talk on the phone and text a few times a week. Essentially, we are boyfriend and girlfriend. Tonight, I brought up the topic again about making it official. However, my silly little heart and girlish tendencies make me want to make it official anyway. Once you are headed straight, you can accelerate and put on additional weight.

He reassured me he is not seeing anyone else. Is this supposed to be enough for me?! Am I supposed to trust and believe what he says? I would be interested to know what happened. I am in a similar situation right now and feel stuck. To be honest, I would do exactly the same thing as the woman did, if I was put in that situation. If I my significant other and I did discuss about the matter and mutually agreed that he needed some issues to work out before we can have a label, how are we suppose to act afterwards?

It would annoy me on a daily basis thinking what kinds behavior and action will be appropriate with my significant other. I have loved your column and have grown a lot reading it. I have experienced a lot of the same things you talk about it, but where mine is different is I lost a son in the middle of it. I hope that makes sense. Is there a way I can contact you directly? You could email me at focusitup gmail. I have been seeing a guy for about 4 months now.

We talk almost every day, I have been on a trip with his family, and he has met mine. He rushed into his last relationship and the person turned out to be different then he thought, and he wants to us to really get to know each other. The other night he brought it up this time, and said I was one of his best friends, but he still was not ready to make a commitment.

I told him I just needed to know it was heading in that direction where we would be boyfriend and girlfriend, and he said it was. I guess my question is how long will it take for him to decide. I am worried that I will continue to wait, and he will never commit. I am wondering if I need to soon give him an ultimatum of we either date or I need to move on. I like him a lot and I am very happy with how we are right now, but I feel like at some point there has got to be a level of commitment.

Are you sleeping with him? At least it may serve as a lesson for your future or for someone else who is reading this that may need to recognize it. And it takes away the mystery, the hunt…. Let them catch you! Now you may already know all this, in which case, I would say to your inquiry that people move at different paces.

And it may be wise to remember that real men, or very masculine men i. If he is one of them he may need some time but you should have a conversation and make a commitment to yourself as to what is reasonable to you and stick to a course of action if you go past that. Much easier said than done if you are invested. But the longer you are invested the harder it is.

And leaving will often give you the answer you are looking for rather than limbo which can be very painful when prolonged. I know deep down not to call but late at night and early morning, when I have time to think, it hits home hard.

It has helped to get a reality check and put things into perspective. Hi all, just looking for some help as I am at a pretty low point in my life. I met a great guy 7 months ago on a dating site. We spent every weekend together and talked everyday and had lots in common. After a while I tried to ask him how he felt and told him my feelings, vaguely.

He told me he was selfish adn controlling when we met and i coild see he wouldnt talk at all about enotion. We only spent set times together, Saturday — Sunday afternoon. My friends thought this was strange and how he should want to spend extra days with me in the holiday period.

I had lots of advice to just leave him and make myself happy… But just wanted to see where it would go as i liked him a lot and felt that i had fallen in love with him. He made the relationship so emotions were not spoken about and I followed along. This left me feeling empty and wondered whether I was being used for sex and comfort. I now know I made that too easy for him also. It was sort of taken for granted that we would keep every Saturday open for each other.

The night I was to ask him what we were, I had decided to just ask, I saw a text message from a woman flash up on his phone… The contact picture was quite revealing and of a sexual nature. I asked him what we were and that I had found my answer, that we were just casual it seemed. I was a bit drunk at the time and it soon escalated into an argument. He got angry and told me that he had not known what the relationship was for a long time and he wanted to see other people and had only been on this dating site for just over a week.

We broke up but he kept calling everyday, he said he wanted to keep the lines of communication open as it was all a shock. We met a couple of times and he hinted at us working this out. One night he called me from a girl a works birthday party whilst I was ill in bed. He said he wawnted to call me befo he got drunk. I lost it, thinking he was up to all sorts, and told him to stop calling me as it seemed cruel and that he was enjoying himself having fun, whilst I was upset and ill, he knew i was sick.

The next day I told him he was confusing me and what was going on. He told me what he said the previously on the night of the argument still stood. He continued to call.

We met again and spent a really lovely day together. He held my hand, told me how easy it was for him to talk to me since the fight and he walked me home. A few days later I called him and he seemed distant and pissed off with me.

I said there was no point from here and I wished him good luck in life. He said if he could still call, I asked him for what? I was angry at the time and now regret what I said, it was out of frustration and tiredness that I said this to him.

I feel I forced his reaction from reading this site. I think we could work it out… Could someone please advise or am I being extremely naive in thinking this… Was he letting me down gently all along? I hope it helps a wee bit. Hi Sandra, I think blue gives you some good advice. I would stop beating yourself up for what you said to him because I think it is right on.

I have dealt with a wishy washy man. It can be very confusing. You need to nip it in the bud. You said and did the right thing. Now all you need to do is wait. Men like to fix things.

But you need to ask yourself if you really want him? He sounds too controlling for your taste from your own description. He wants to keep you on the sidelines while seeing if there is something better out there for him.

It is much easier to deal with this after 7 months than it is after 7 years…and take it from me…it can go on that long and then some. You did the right thing. There are many men out there you can fall in love with…and falling in love is fun…so look forward to it…and make sure you pick a better one than the last one. Thank you both for your replies and taking the time to message back, very much appreciated.

It does hurt a lot and my thoughts have been very circular as this has been a fairly recent occurrence; I need to stop the destructive thinking. I suppose I gave him an easy way out in the end.

It is amazing that I have read so many women in the same situation, at my age — mid thirties, I did not think this would happen to me! Next time I will hopefully take heed of the warning signs in myself and other party and try not to go down this painful path again…. Still wondering if I should contact him and am wondering if he will ever call after I told him not to? Is this a really bad idea?

Can this be worked out or should I just accept it really is over? I am sorry you are feeling low…what you need to do is get angry! Really…READ your initial correspondence here. You can not call this man. For one, he is wishy washy.

For two, men are hunters. The only way this relationship will ever work is if you let him come after you. You say yourself that each time you have called him i.

That is because you are now the hunter. This does not make a man feel very manly. In fact, moving on is the best thing you can do to make yourself more interesting to this man so it works on two ends.

You need to give this man time to miss you. It could take up to 8 weeks. But I can tell you this, the longer you do not call him, the more it is going to drive him crazy until he contacts you…and pursues you…which is the way it needs to be in order for it to ever work. Still on the other side of things, this man had texts of a sexual nature from another woman on his phone, he calls you late at night booty call! If you take care of yourself first, the rest will fall into place.

And from the looks of things stated here, you are actually better off without this man. There really ARE men out there who will treat you right. When a man is in love AND sure of himself, he will act right. You do not need to accept someone making you second guess yourself all the time, making you feel like you are not worth while, because you are!

I am telling you again, if you think doing this after 7 months is hard, imagine if you invested years…. And I really do think that if you call him, you will only be sabotaging yourself and your relationship with him. Get out with some girlfriends NOW!!!

You need your spirits lifted. Friends are the best medicine. Hi Sandra, Yup you are in those shakey few weeks after a breakup where you wonder if you maybe should give him another shot. Ok a few tips for you:. I know that sucks but a lot of times men are just not very verbal about it all and they do things to show you how they feel.

Tip 2 write out how you feel about all of this, just keep writing and writing and writing until you get it alllll out, every angle, every scenario, everything you would like to say to him or scream at him or throw at him: Tip 3 I know this sounds like something you probably have zero interest in but honestly the VERY best way to get over someone is to get a crush on someone else. Write back in if you need anymore support: After having read this entire page, over the course of the past few days, I would appreciate your opinion regarding my situation.

Both divorced in past year. Though we initially met through a Facebook Group, we have a mutual acquaintance…. Started out as simple as playing Words With Friends! In October, messaging daily and now chatting, calling, messaging throughout the day.

Early on, we talked about neither of us being ready for a relationship. He said maybe we could be friends with benefits. I told him I did that when I was younger, but was not cut out for that anymore. I live about 40 minutes from him. We spent 7 hours talking, oh….. Continue to chat every day. A month later, I see him again. Things heat up fast. That he values me too much as a friend, and does not want to lose that. We still text, chat, talk off and on all day every day.

Nothing has changed, other than he now calls me babe, baby, etc. I believe that he is not ready for a relationship, and I am not going to push him. Why does he stay in constant contact with me? He is probably still working out emotions and healing and logistics of his divorce and reconciling moving on.

I would allow him this time and be patient. It seems as though things are growing and will continue to grow if you let it. Enjoy his constant comments and sweet texts and reciprocate in kind. Things are continuing the same, and I am happy to just appreciate him for the smile he puts on my face every day. I think he is just playing it safe, as he sometimes contradicts himself with things he says. I say that in due time, he will want more. I will be glad for what I have learned from him and sadly move on.

One day at a time! I absolutely love this site, and my daily email. So many women could learn a lot here, if only they have the open mind to it. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are an official couple: So I started wondering if there was something wrong, specially since lately he has been super withdrawn.

I think you already did the right thing when you started to leave. He said you were more into the relationship than he was and then when he thought he might lose you, he changed his tune. For now, I would go with it as long as he is acting right, but keep an eye out, as he may be one of those hot and cold men that never know what they want and are always toying with your heart.. I was with this guy and I knew he was dating someone else but I thought I could get him with sex.

Let me just say that sex is nothing if you have no respect for yourself or your partner!! Stop deluding yourself and realize there are also other woman out there that also enjoy kinky things in the bedroom and the other woman he is seeing is probably giving him the same as you,, you are not special and certainly sound very naive!! Stop being so nasty and get your yourself some morals and have a little respect for yourself!! I am going to pray for you that you realize what a woman should be, and that some how through Christ you will become one.

I also pray for this guy that he will quit using woman. Not just you but the other woman. I knew the other woman , I would tell her. No one deserves to be disrespected like this. I pray for the other woman that this guy figures it out and figures it out, fast. If he is this big of a loser, God will take him out if her life and bless her with a man who will treat her with respect and decency.

Not one whose going to continually be lying to her and cheating on her. I had been married to a guy like that. Through Gods grace I now have an amazing man in my life. If you get right with God, He will do the same for you.

So after a couple of weeks of me going out and being single, he snapped out of it and asked me to be his girlfriend officially. He just assumed we were official. After that, things are pretty serious. All weekends are reserved for me and one week day. We make future plans and often talk about marrying and kids. He even wants to give me a huge loan for college.

He talks to me about important stuff going on in his family and friends. He never tells me when something is wrong, he just gets really angry and silent and speaks in one-word sentences.

A week after that, he said that I was TOO nice with him. But strangely after he said that, he became the most loving and affectionate person. And lots of hearts and kisses emoticons etc.

And he bought me gifts and surprises and took me out for romantic dinners. So, vacations ended and he went back to work and I went back to college. Since then, all the loving went gone.

He is cold, distant, angry, irritable. He nags me about everything I do: He on the other hand got all weird and started asked where I was and with whom and what time I planned to get home etc.

But he kept replying generally: I trust him so I let it go. Aside from that, he is irritable and answering my texts and calls curtly and annoyed. Yesterday, he texted me and I said I was exercising that I will talk to him as soon as I finished. I left his chat window open so I appeared as online, but I was in fact on top the elliptical. I explained to him but I got really angry. I asked him why he was being such a jerk and why he had been so angry and irritable.

So I said that we should talk about it, not right now, but when he feels ready. I thought of giving him space but then I remembered that he got angry that I never text him first that is true, I just feel a little insecure of taking initiative and have him take me for granted, but I do it once in a while.

So I texted him today when he was working. A quick hi, how are you? And then we had a regular conversation in which he was a bit more polite but still curtly and distant. He normally accuses me of being too un-needy, meaning that I sometimes seem not to care. I went to my friends place for Xmas drinks and my friend told me to invite him over we have all been friends for a long time..

He arrived and brought my friend and her mother drinks and his body language was not good!! He hardly spoke to me and talked to my friend for most of the evening!! They had been intimate last year but she is incapable of having a relationship and he says he is emotionally unavailable!! I could hear and see what they were doing!! They both then had a conversation in regards to liking each other and got quite intimate.

He then asked her to dance which they did slowly and with his hand on her butt.. He then asked to sleep in bed with all of us later played it off as a joke which was enough for me..

I got up and asked him to move his car and after him basically calling me an idiot and that nothing was going on I left!! He sent me a few messages but blamed me and said he did not do anything wrong!!! Please let me know what you think cause I believe it was wrong!!! From your post it is pretty clear this guy has no regard for your feelings.

You are better than that and deserve so much more. Regain your composure, get your confidence back, then consider putting yourself back in circulation. The point is to have fun first and foremost. At the same time, get to know as many men as possible. Yes, you are going to date a lot of guys only once.

Have fun with it. Eventually — probably sooner than you think — one of these men, maybe two, will step up and ask you to be his girlfriend. Doing so will put you right back in the situation you are currently experiencing: Wondering if you will be a girlfriend or not. Having said all that, just remember, I am not a psychologist, a behavioral scientist, a life coach, nor do I have any credentials to give information of this type. I am just a guy on a keyboard telling the way he feels it.

If you feel you need professional help, then you should seek it from a documented, licensed professional specializing in the help you need. Best of luck to you, and as always, take care of the self. I met a guy two months ago. I met him in a bar, while I was sitting there with a friend. A guy he was with started talking to us and eventually we had a conversation with the 4 of us for 4 hours.

We talked about lots of things, even about love. The only thing he said about it was: Eventually we went to another pub and my friend left. I joined the guys and as he went smoking outside the other guy said to me: Later on that evening he brought me home and stayed over.

We didnt have sex all the way.. The next day he said: I would like to see you again. Would you like that too? I also have huge difficulties with opening myself up to men so i usually appear a bit distance in the beginning. In the weeks to follow he called me very regularly, but only texted once a day or so. We saw each other about once a week. We usually drank wine and talked or had sex or he played the guitar he is very musical.

He cooked for me, he once stopped his car at the bus stop when i was standing there just to give me a kiss.. Eventually i decided to open up more. I do have to say that from the beginning on he told me: So there is some background info i need to add: He has a huge love for south africa we are in the netherlands right now and told me he has never felt happy in the netherlands. He also says he doesnt know if he is at the right place for a relationship because of previous relationships and the fact that he feels unhappy with himself.

I actually genuinely believe him in that respect. We also havent had sex since we talked more about his issues. So i dont think he wants to use me for sex. The thing is, I really really like him. I now realize it is not good that i totally get upset and worried towards him when he is being honest..

So I am now thinking of talking with him and just kind of subtly exploring what he is scared off etc without pushing a relationship. You have lots of story there, but I see only a few things that get my attention. The first thing I noticed: It seems that may have already happened. Now let me quote some of your last lines here: So I am now thinking of talking with him and just kind of subtly exploring what he is scared [of] etc without pushing a relationship.

I actually feel I would want to become friends with him and then just see what happens.. In all of your post you never mentioned exactly what you want. So the big question is: So here are a handful of things you can do.

First, stop trying to analyze what he is feeling, interpreting what he really means when he says something, and predicting where this relationship will go, assuming it is a relationship.

That is an incredible waste of time, effort, and energy. You must feel totally drained all the time trying to predict, interpret, anticipate, wonder, analyze, second guess, etc. It is meaningless, wasteful, and circuitous. Second, determine for yourself what you really want from a relationship. You actually have a lot of choices here. Do you just want to hang with this guy on his terms? Do you want just a weekend lover? Do you want to be exclusive? Any of those are fine, but determine what you want, make a goal, and carry it out.

Wasting your time analyzing nonsense. Third — and most important — have fun!! You only have a short amount of time to actually enjoy it, so you should do just that: It sounds like this guy is pretty infatuated with you given his honesty and how he does all those cute little things for you.

Take it all in. Make them treat you like a lady, and get to know as many men as you can. It may put a new perspective on your life. Go out with friends. Plan a ski trip with three or four gals and see if you can ski down one of the harder trails. Take a sculpting class or a dance class. Volunteer at a hospital or an orphanage. The point is to explore life and enjoy it. I must make a disclaimer. I am not a psychologist, a behavior specialist, or a life coach of any kind.

I am simply a guy on the other end of the Internet who is telling it the way he feels it. If you feel you need professional help, then please seek it from a documented licensed professional. Best of luck to you and be sure to take care of the self. Thank you for the reply. The irony is that I am a psychologist myself.. So, thanks for your advice. I guess part of me wants to be in a relationship with him, pretty badly. But I am trying now to be a bit more calm about everything that is going on.

I have been seeing the dating with him in very black and white terms its gonna be relationship or nothing at all.

So I felt that if he didnt tell me that the thing between us was official he must not like me enough and it would be completely over. I guess that was a bit of a harsh conclusion. I have now decided to talk with him and tell him that i am fine with taking things slowly and that i dont expect anything as I might have been too fast concluding that i want him so much. The latter is really true. I do know that i have never met someone like him before, and I genuinely like him a lot, but I think i have been too fast in concluding things about what I feel myself, which may have scared the shit out of him too.

I dont want a solely sexual relationship. Been through that many times and it doesnt make me happy. I also know it is not what he is into either. So, friendship could be a good start. I am better off not trying to analyze every step he does or does not take.

I needed to hear some stuff from an objective party instead of my own brain! I was in the same situation, although we did get engaged after a year. All that did was secure me into it even more and make it even harder to leave. All the while believing him and having a lot of compassion. My suggestion would be to end things, let him get his life in order, you move on with yours… if he comes back with a real committment offer, then reassess at that time. So you just have to know where you stand on it all… good luck.

Whenever my guy gets too comfortable or stops going out of his way for me, I automatically and out of instinct I believe , I back off a bit and focus more on myself. Why are you distant? Please help me understand another man-mystery. For myself, actions speak a lot louder than words. I had been dating a man for almost two years. Although he would tell me he loved me, his actions spoke volumes.

I had organzied my schedule so I could meet him on his business trip and fly back with him. Picking me up at the airport, he made it seem like it was such a burden, and throughout the next day he allowed me to not only pay for my meals and any items throughout the day, but also for his.

His trip had been paid for by his company: He also had said we would go to a show- do something special- we never did. Then to top it off, when we got back, he tried to make me feel that everything had been my fault. Needless to say, we are not dating anymore.

Wow, this advice is really good. I have a great boyfriend. We used to go out in high-school and got back together in our late twenties. He spends most of his free time with me, but we also are independent and have time for ourselves.

He makes sure that I spend time with his family, and has introduced me as his girlfriend to his friends. I know he wants to make me happy and overall I feel very loved. I know these are only words, and that I should focus in all of those things that he does and all the signals that Eric and Sabrina talk about. But it would be nice if he expresses with words what he shows me with actions. I do love him, should I just say it first? Should I just forget about it and just enjoy the relationship without ever expressing how I feel?

Could anyone help us out? H, im writing to you today as I really need some advice. My situation is a little unique and I cant get any non bias advice. The next day we texted eachother from the moment we woke up till we fell asleep. We met a couple days after for coffee during lunch break as he worked in the same building coincidentally.

Then after about a week he kissed me: It took him a while though to take me out to dinner which made me have some doubts, but eventually we were regulars at fancy restaurants. He ticked all the boxes for me and I apparently tick all his boxes too. One night he picked me up from work and dropped me home and when i kissed him goodbye and got out the car I heard him say i love you… I was a bit shocked, I acted like I didnt hear anything and said goodbye at this point I should mention, I have never had a boyfriend or been in love.

Moses died, and Joshua took the helm and led the people into the land of Canaan, or the Promised Land. The epoch that followed was known as the period of the judges, when Israel was ruled by judges and priests.

Saul became the first king of Israel in B. He was succeeded by his rival, David, in Under David's rule, Jerusalem became the capital. Solomon ascended to the throne in B. In the kingdom split into two parts, Israel and Judah. In Israel was conquered by Assyria, and in it was taken over by Babylonia. The city of Jerusalem was destroyed, and the Jews were exiled to Babylon.

In Babylon was conquered by the king of Persia, who allowed the Jews to return to their homeland, where they rebuilt the Temple and began what became known as the Second Jewish State.

Between and B. In Judas Maccabee led a rebellion that allowed the Jews to reclaim Jerusalem, a victory that Jews still celebrate in the festival of Hanukkah. Judah became an independent state in B. Herod conquered Judah in 37 B. The First Revolt against Rome occurred in 66 C.

The Temple was destroyed, and the majority of the Jews were dispersed throughout the world. Byzantines ruled the area from to , although toward the end of this period, from to , the Jews ruled Jerusalem under Persian jurisdiction. The years to saw the founding of Islam by Muhammad. In Arab Muslims conquered Jerusalem, where their rule lasted until the Turkish conquest in The First Crusaders took the city in In Saladin, the Kurdish ruler of Egypt, conquered Jerusalem.

In the land of Israel, known at this time as Palestine, was taken over by the Ottoman Turks, who ruled for four hundred years. In Napoleon unsuccessfully attempted to take the territory, but did not succeed.

The first modern Jewish settlement in Palestine was established in , and was followed at the end of the nineteenth century by others, as Jews fled pogroms in Russia and Poland. In the First Zionist Conference was held in Basel, Switzerland, and under the initiative of the Hungarian Jew Theodor Herzl, the Zionist movement began its mission to create a Jewish homeland in the territory from which the Jews had been expelled nearly two thousand years earlier.

The Balfour Declaration, issued by Britain in , expressed support for the establishment of a Jewish state in Palestine. The British used a mandate from the League of Nations as license to rule the area for the ensuing decades, during which time they kept control by feeding the animosity between Palestinian Arabs and Jewish settlers.

The British also restricted Jewish immigration to the region, even by Jews who were experiencing persecution at the hands of the Russians, and later the Nazis. The Arabs attempted unsuccessfully to revolt against the British from to ; tensions between Arabs and Jews also escalated, and there were several anti-Jewish riots. From the time Hitler came to power in until the beginning of World War II in , a large number of German Jews managed to immigrate to Palestine despite British restrictions, fleeing the increasingly oppressive regime.

Between and more than six million Jews were killed in the Holocaust, a horror that gave new impetus to the movement to form a Jewish state and that caused European nations to recognize the legitimacy of such a claim.

In Palestine, a truce with the British lasted through World War II, but when the war ended, violence again increased, both between Jews and Arabs and against the British. The Palestinians rejected this plan. On 14 May , when Israel proclaimed its independence, the declaration was met by an invasion on behalf of the Palestinians by the armies of Egypt, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, and Iraq.

The war that followed lasted until the Arab defeat in January A mass immigration of Jews from Europe and Arab countries took place over the first few years after the state's founding, and the economy grew. While some Palestinians chose to take up Israeli citizenship, many others immigrated to the primarily Arab West Bank and Gaza Strip, or sought refuge in other Arab nations.

When Egypt took control of the Suez Canal from France and Britain in , Israel, fearing the increase in power of their unfriendly neighbor, staged an attack in Egypt's Sinai Desert.

Several days later, Britain and France joined the offensive. The United Nations sent peacekeepers, who stayed in the region until When they pulled out, Egypt sent its military back into the Sinai, obstructing the southern Israeli port of Eilat.

Israel responded by attacking on 5 June. Syria, Jordan, and Iraq came to Egypt's defense, but all four nations were defeated. It also resulted in a Jewish occupation of the West Bank and a reunited Jerusalem. The city had been partitioned earlier between the Jews and the Arabs. The Arab League vowed that the situation would not rest and proceeded to put Israel in a state of siege.

Arab terrorists highjacked Israeli airplanes. They also killed Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics. Israel managed to defeat the two armies, but the resulting situation was far from stable. Sadat and Begin shared the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts at reconciliation, and an official peace treaty was signed in in Paris.

In Israel agreed to give up the Sinai, but it also invaded Lebanon, to leave its northern settlements less vulnerable to Palestinian attacks. However, by , Israel had limited its presence to a security strip along the border.

The Palestinian uprising called the Intifadah began in Palestinians threw rocks at Israeli soldiers occupying the Gaza Strip and the West Bank; the Israelis retaliated, and the violence escalated, ultimately resulting in hundreds of deaths.

Israel proposed a peace initiative in This same year saw the beginning of a mass immigration by Soviet Jews. The resulting agreement gave the Palestinians responsibility for the Gaza Strip and Jericho.

By moving in this direction, the agreements presumed eventual statehood for the Palestinians. Other deals included resolving the issue of Israeli settlements in the West Bank and Gaza, as well as A Sephardic family celebrates the Jewish festival of Passover by sharing a picnic in West Jerusalem. Arafat was to confiscate illegal arms from Palestinians, and both sides were to protect and preserve access to holy sites.

These agreements, known as the Oslo Accords after the city where the first secret rounds of talks were held , were seen as momentous steps in the peace process, and concluded at Camp David with a historic handshake between Arafat and Rabin. Israel went on to sign a peace agreement with Jordan in , and to begin talks with Syria as well. However, despite progress at the upper echelons, violence continued. In Israeli prime minister Rabin was assassinated at a peace rally in Tel Aviv.

The killer was an ultraconservative Jew who was angered by what he saw as Rabin's overly conciliatory stance toward the Palestinians. In October a conference at the Wye River in Maryland resulted in an agreement by the PLO to get rid of its terrorist groups, to confiscate illegal weapons, and to imprison their own terrorists, in exchange for more land on the West Bank.

The meetings also resulted in the creation of a U. These meetings had some degree of success, and the incremental progress appeared promising. In September , violence again broke out. The fragile peace established by the Oslo Accords crumbled.

By the end of November more than people had been killed, most of them Palestinian, with no end to the conflict in sight. National identity for Israelis is to a large extent bound up with their identity as Jews.

For the more devout, national identity takes on a spiritual element, in which the observance of religious ritual becomes an expression of national pride. However, there are also a large number of secular Jews in Israel, for whom Judaism is more a cultural and ethnic identity than a spiritual practice. Many Palestinians living in Israel do not identify as Israelis at all, but rather with the displaced Palestinian nation and with the rest of the Arab world as well.

Much of their national identity is also based on both religious and cultural elements of the Muslim faith. Relations between Jews and Arabs are extremely antagonistic. Each side sees the other as the aggressor. Palestinians resent the fact that the Jews took over their homeland, and that they have exercised their far superior military technology to maintain it, whereas the Jews feel that they are making a claim to land that is rightfully theirs, and from which they have been exiled for thousands of years.

Palestinians have often resorted to terrorist action, which further aggravates the situation. Atrocities have been committed on both sides of the divide, and there is little sign of reconciliation in the near future. Relations within the Jewish community itself also have been problematic. Many of the Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox oppose any compromise with the Palestinians and want the state to follow a more strictly religious line.

They do not consider more Reform or Conservative Jews Jewish, because these more liberal branches do not strictly follow all the religious laws.

Ninety percent of Israel's population is urban. Jerusalem is the capital and largest city, with a population of , It is in the center of the country, straddling the border between Israel and the West Bank. The city has been continuously settled for more than three thousand years and is home to many sites of historical and religious significance for Jews, Christians, and Muslims. The Old City is divided into quarters: Jewish, Christian, Muslim, and Armenian.

Outside the walls of this oldest district, the city sprawls in neighborhoods containing residential zones, parks, museums, and government buildings. Tel Aviv is a more modern city, and the commercial and industrial capital of the country.

It is in fact a combination of two cities, Tel Aviv and Jaffa. Jaffa's history dates back to biblical times, whereas Tel Aviv was founded in by European Jewish immigrants. The third-largest city in the country is Haifa, in the north.

It is the country's main port and also is an industrial center. Israel's architecture is diverse, spanning many centuries and styles. There is a good deal of Islamic architecture, most of which dates from to Today most Israelis live in modern high-rise apartments, which are overseen by committees elected by the inhabitants of the building. Some Jewish settlers in Palestinian territory, and many Palestinians themselves, live in shacks, unfinished houses, or other modest dwellings.

Food in Daily Life. Falafel , ground chickpeas mixed with onions and spices formed into balls and fried, are served in pita bread as a sandwich.

Other popular dishes include tabuleh a salad of bulgar wheat and chopped vegetables , hummus chickpea paste , grilled meats, and eggplant. Cumin, mint, garlic, onion, and black pepper are used for flavoring. Baklava is a popular dessert of Arabic origin and consists of flaky dough layered with honey and nuts. Coffee is often prepared in the Turkish style, extremely strong and thick and served in small cups. Jews are bound by a set of dietary laws called kashrut , which, among other restrictions, forbid the consumption of pork and shellfish, as well as the consumption of both meat and milk products at the same meal.

Not all Israelis observe these rules, but many restaurants do. Food Customs at Ceremonial Occasions. Food plays an important role in nearly all Jewish celebrations. The Sabbath, observed on Saturday, is ushered in on Friday evening with a family meal including an egg bread called challah. At the Jewish New Year the challah is baked in a circle, symbolizing the cyclical nature of life.

Apples and honey also are eaten, symbolizing the wish for a sweet new year. Hamentaschen are traditionally served at Purim, the celebration of Queen Esther's triumph over the evil Haman, who was trying to annihilate the Jewish people.

These are cookies filled with lekvar prune preserves and baked in the shape of a triangle. Some believe hamentaschen symbolizes the tricornered hat of Haman; others think it is his pockets, and still others think it represents his ears, which were clipped as a sign of shame.

During Passover, Jews abstain from eating all leavened foods bread, pasta, etc. Instead they eat matzoh ,a flat, crackerlike bread. This is in memory of the Exodus from Israel, when the Jews could not wait for their bread to rise, and so carried it on their backs to bake in the sun.

Passover also is observed with a ritual meal called a seder. Four glasses of wine, representing God's four promises to Israel "I will bring you out of Egypt;" "I will deliver you;" "I will redeem you;" and "I will take you to be my people" , are drunk throughout the evening.

Other symbolic foods at the occasion include boiled eggs symbolizing new life and charosis a mixture of apples and walnuts, representing the mortar the Jews used as slaves. On Shavuot in the late spring, dairy-based treats are served. Because cooking is forbidden on the Sabbath, a traditional Saturday meal is cholent , a thick stew that is left in the oven to simmer overnight. Israel's economy was originally based on a socialist model, in which the Histadrut People voting in an election.

Israel is a parlimentary democracy, divided into six administrative districts. However, in the past few decades, Histadrut's power has been diluted as the country has adopted more capitalist policies.

The economy today is based largely on advanced technology. Its high-tech firms play an important role in the global economy, and foreign investment in these firms is abundant.

Despite its limited natural resources, the country has become nearly self-sufficient in food production with the exception of grains.

Still, agriculture accounts for only 2 percent of the GDP and employs roughly 2 percent of the labor force. Services account for 81 percent and industry for 17 percent. The Israeli economy grew significantly during the s, thanks to an influx of skilled immigrants and growth in the technology sector. While was the most financially successful year in Israel's history, gains in prosperity, and particularly foreign investments, feel somewhat tenuous after the recent outbreaks of violence.

Land Tenure and Property. Some land is privately owned and some is public property. Israel also has a system of kibbutzim singular: Residents share chores, and instead of a salary receive housing, medical care, education, and other necessities. There are also moshav , farming communities in which each family owns its own house and is responsible for its own land, but in which other functions, such as selling their products, are done collectively.

Israel produces a variety of agricultural goods, including meat and dairy products, vegetables, citrus, and other fruits. Computer industries and technology account for a large amount of the nation's commercial activity. Tourism is another important sector. Israel draws roughly two million tourists each year, with its historical and religious sites as well as resorts and health spas near the Dead Sea.

Israel has a variety of industries, including food processing, textiles, diamond cutting and polishing, metal products, military equipment, high-technology electronics, and tourism. The main exports are machinery and equipment, software, cut diamonds, textiles, and agricultural products.

Israel imports raw materials, military equipment, rough diamonds, fuel, and consumer goods from the United States, the Benelux countries, Germany, and the United Kingdom. Palestinian Israelis generally do not have access to as good an education as Israeli Jews and therefore are more likely to occupy less skilled and poorly paid positions. Immigrants as well, even highly educated ones, often are forced to take jobs of a low status, and many are unemployed.

Israel is not highly stratified economically; most people have a similarly comfortable standard of living. However, the majority of the poor are Palestinian.

Recent immigrants from Africa and Eastern Europe also tend to be at a disadvantage economically. Symbols of Social Stratification. Among Israeli Jews, clothing is often an indication of religious or political affiliation. Men wear yarmulkes , or skullcaps, for prayer; more observant men wear them at all times. Conservative Jewish men can be distinguished by their black hats, whereas liberal Jews wear white crocheted caps.

In the strictest Orthodox communities, men dress all in black and wear peyes , long sidelocks. Women keep their heads covered; traditionally, after marriage, they shave their heads and wear wigs.

Secular or less conservative Jews, who comprise the majority of the population, wear Western-style clothes. Many Arabs wear traditional Muslim dress, which for men is a turban or other headdress and long robes, and for women is a long robe that covers the head and the entire body. Israel is a parliamentary democracy, divided into six administrative districts. There is no formal constitution; instead, there is the Declaration of Establishment, from , the Basic Laws of the parliament Knesset , and the Israel citizenship law.

The head of government is the prime minister, elected by popular vote for a four-year term. The members of the Knesset also are elected for four years. The Knesset selects the president, who serves as chief of state. Leadership and Political Officials. There about twelve political parties represented in the Knesset, ranging from the far right wing to the far left, and many in between. The most powerful of the conservative parties is the fairly centrist Likud.

The Labor Party is the liberal party with the most clout, and the one Palestinian Israelis tend to support. The Palestinian Liberation Organization, headed by Yassar Arafat, is the main political representation of Palestinians seeking the formation of a separate state. There also are several militant and terrorist organizations with this same objective, including Hamas and Hezbollah. Social Problems and Control.

The legal system is a combination of English common law and British mandate regulations. For personal matters, Jews, Muslims, and Christians are subject to separate jurisdictions. The role of the police force is sometimes virtually interchangeable with that the army—for example, in the case of the border guards in the West Bank. The Palestinian National Authority has its own police and security forces, which have a record of human rights abuses.

Palestinian civilians have a reputation for violence against Israeli soldiers and law-enforcement officers, who in turn have a reputation for responding brutally. All citizens, men and women, are required to serve in the armed forces. For unmarried women, two years of active duty are required not in combat ; for men, a minimum of four years. Social welfare programs include pensions for the elderly, maternity insurance, workers' compensation, and allowances for large families.

The government also provides assistance for recent immigrants, although these programs have been criticized for helping well-off immigrants at the expense of poorer native-born Israelis. A number of nongovernmental Jewish organizations make considerable economic contributions to Israel, such as the international World Zionist Organization, which supports the immigration of Jews to Israel from around the world.

Synagogues in the United States and Europe also send aid and sponsor tree-planting drives. Israel also has a system of "national institutions," which are not part of the government but function alongside it in the A Torah scribe works with his son. Judaism is the official Israeli religion, and the Torah is the most sacred text. Division of Labor by Gender. Women are well represented in many fields, both traditional teaching, nursing, child care , and nontraditional law, politics, the military.

Israel even elected a female prime minister, Golda Meir, who served from to Some strides toward equality have been reversed; while it used to be a hallmark of kibbutzim that labor was divided without respect to gender, today women are more likely to be found in the kitchen and in child care facilities. Women, like men, are required to serve in the armed forces, and during the war for independence fought in the front lines alongside men.

Today women are not permitted combat. Instead they are mostly confined to adminstration and education, and usually do not achieve high-ranking positions. The Relative Status of Women and Men. In the Orthodox tradition, women and men live very separate lives. Women are considered inferior, and are excluded from many traditional activities. However, most of Israeli society is more progressive, and women are generally accorded equal status to men, both legally and socially. The main exception to this is the divorce law.

Traditionally, in both Arab and Jewish societies, marriages were often arranged, but that is uncommon nowadays. However, there are powerful social taboos against intermarriage, and it is illegal for a Jew to marry a non-Jew in Israel. Those wishing to do so must go abroad for the ceremony. Even within the Jewish community, it is unusual for a very observant Jew to marry someone secular.

Divorce is legal, but Orthodox Jewish law applies. According to this statute, men have the power to prevent their ex-wives from remarrying. If the woman enters into another relationship, the courts refuse to recognize it, and any children from such a union are considered illegitimate and themselves cannot marry in the State of Israel. The most common family unit consists of a nuclear family. In more traditional families, grandparents are sometimes included in this.

In the original kibbutz system, the living arrangements were different. Husband and wife lived in separate quarters from their children, who were housed with the other young people. Some kibbutzim still operate in this way, but it is now more common for children to live with their parents, although their days are still spent separately.

Babies are generally adored and showered with affection. The extended family plays an important role in helping to raise the baby, but the mother generally takes primary responsibility. Jewish boys are circumcised eight days after birth in a religious ceremony called a bris. Child Rearing and Education. In most of Israeli society, children are raised in the setting of a nuclear family. However, collective child care is common, especially for mothers who work outside the home.

In kibbutzim, they stay separately from their parents, and usually see them only at night or on weekends. Children are generally indulged and are not strictly disciplined. In the Arab tradition, boys and girls are raised separately. They have different responsibilities at home, where girls are expected to help much more with domestic chores. The schools are also usually gender-segregated. Education is mandatory from the ages five through fifteen. The state runs both religious and nonreligious schools; 70 percent of children attend the nonreligious ones.

There is a separate education system for Arab children, where the language of instruction is Arabic. The quality of education in these schools is often lower due to a relative unavailability of teachers and poor resources, and they have at times been subject to closings due to violence and political instability.

Arab schools receive some funding from the government, as well as from religious institutions. There are three types of high schools: Israel has seven universities. Entrance standards are high, and students must pass a national exam before being admitted.

The oldest and most prestigious of these is Hebrew University in Jerusalem, which also has one of the strongest medical schools in the Middle East. Ben-Gurion University, in Beersheba, specializes in natural conservation, and Technion in Haifa focuses on science and engineering.

The Weizmann Institute in Rehovot supports postgraduate study. There also are vocational, agricultural, and teacher training institutes. Yeshivot are religious academies generally not open to women that train future rabbis and Jewish scholars. Israelis are very informal in social interactions. Their standards would, in many other countries, be considered rude.

For example, store clerks do not act at all solicitous or even acknowledge a customer's presence until the customer approaches. Despite this apparent brusqueness, touching and eye contact are common in social interactions.

Religious etiquette dictates that women dress conservatively when visiting holy sites shorts are not acceptable for either gender and that men cover their heads with a yarmulke.

Arabs are physically affectionate people, but in Arab society, men and women are often separated socially and there is less physical contact between men and women in public. It is customary to remove one's shoes before entering an Arab household. Judaism is the official religion. Eighty percent of the population are Jewish, 15 percent are Muslim, and 4 percent are Christian or Druze. The most sacred text is the Torah, or the five books of Moses.

The Bible is seen as both historical record and religious law. Different communities follow the Holy Book with varying degrees of literalness. The strictest are the ultra-Orthodox, who believe that the Scriptures were physically handed down from God. There are also Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist congregations, who interpret the law more leniently, and who allow women more of a role in the religion. There also are different sects of Judaism, such as the Hasidim and the Lubbavicher.

There are five pillars of faith that Muslims follow. Rabbis are the religious leaders of the Jewish community. They are ordained in Jewish law, and often are scholars in addition to delivering sermons and offering spiritual guidance.

The Chief Rabbinate is a body of rabbis who make the religious laws to which Israeli Jews are subject. An overview of Haifa and the bay area, in The main religious figures in the Muslim community are muezzins, who are scholars of the Koran and sound the call to prayer from mosques. Rituals and Holy Places. Jews worship in synagogues. In the most traditional, men sit in the front and women in the back, separated by a partition, or in a balcony.

There are a number of places in Israel, in Jerusalem in particular, that have religious significance to Jews, Muslims, and Christians. The Dome of the Rock is an ancient Muslim shrine. Christians often make pilgrimages to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, also in Jerusalem. There is a separate section of the wall for men and women. People often write their prayers on pieces of paper and slip them in cracks between the stones.

Eureka Springs bed and breakfast located in the Historic District. A Christian B&B, the Angel at Rose Hall Wedding Chapel and Bed and Breakfast in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, is a magnificent recreation of an 's historic Victorian mansion. Archives and past articles from the Philadelphia Inquirer, Philadelphia Daily News, and Provide a consolidated web site for single men and women to help find a particular singles club, group or organization which suit their .