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W hen a divorced woman on "the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids" began to write about her experiences of being single last week, she opened her blog with the extraordinary statement that she was in "relationship no man's land", condemned to be alone for the rest of her life.

The anonymous woman, whose blog is called The Plankton, is not alone in believing that there are problems specific to being a single woman in middle age. A survey this month found eight out of 10 women over 50 think they have become invisible to men. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity by being labelled as a "mum". Women and men are living longer and fitter lives; the average age at which we divorce is rising — 41 now for women and 43 for men — and the number of single parents is projected to rise to 1.

There is a new demographic of confident and experienced women, at their sexual peak as far as science is concerned, who would like to find a partner. But life, friendship and love for the single woman in her mids and beyond has its own particular complications and sorrows. Susan Quilliam, a relationships expert and agony aunt, said that some women were suffering "terribly". They are also much more in a rush to get into a new relationship and are much less likely to give someone a second chance, which may seem callous but they are much more likely to fall in love quickly.

For men, it's a case of you fulfil the criteria, let's buy the double duvet. It's a shame men aim for the younger age range because women of 45 and 55 are arguably much more sexually mature and able to give a lot more pleasure than, say, a woman of The author of the Plankton blog sums up the emotional aftermath of her divorce in bleak fashion: I am already in a wilderness — maybe [facing] my time again, over 40 years, it's possible, but with no one.

She points to a passage in the book Intimacy by Hanif Kureshi, when his narrator briefly considers the fate of the woman he is leaving: She will, unfortunately, become the recipient of sympathy. At dinner parties divorced men will be placed next to her. But according to many singles, even getting invited to the dinner party can be tricky when people tend to socialise with other couples as they get older and settled into marriages and parenthood. Katie Sheppard, the director of relationships at Match.

Its research shows that dating is, especially for divorced women, fraught with complication, anxiety and worry. Looking for second-time love when children are a first priority is a challenge.

Nicola Lamond, Netmums spokeswoman and mother, said: Single parents describe themselves as lonely, isolated, vulnerable and worthless. There is a real sense their world has shrunk. Trying to meet people in bars and clubs can feel like a younger person's game, especially when you need a single friend and a babysitter to get there.

Susan Broom is a bubbly woman with a ready laugh who is 48, single, and has now given up actively looking for a man, certainly online, and is not afraid to admit that she does feel the sadness of that. I prefer men of my own age. But a lot of those men my age are only looking at women in their 20s or 30s. Because of its 'anything is possible', 'sweet-shop' appeal, online dating just encourages men to cherry-pick their ideal — usually younger — mate. Which is depressing if you're a woman of a certain age.

Studies across all cultures and nations have shown a consistent trend for men to have younger partners. An unhappy pattern for plus women who want a new partner.

It's an invisible band of women, they don't complain and they just get on with their lives, but actually it's tough for them. It's hard to meet people, especially in London. I'd like to try to set something up for the single people in my area, I know they are out there. A physical event where people actually meet instead of everybody finding online dating a bit of a letdown and just staying home feeling sorry for themselves.

Women also report losing friends because of the differences between single and attached lives. So it's tough because you also have to get out there and find a new bunch of female mates too, and, of course, they end up being younger than you, and then you worry about going out with them and they'll be getting chatted up and you won't! And in a real way — not just in a 'singledom rocks' way. Because quite often it really doesn't. There are rewards, however, for remaining single, says Kate Grussing, the founder of the management consultancy firm Sapphire Partners, who believes single, childless women in their 40s and 50s have huge advantages at work.

They have proved themselves, they are good at what they do and at the top of their game. And they will have got where they are in their careers by juggling far fewer balls on the way up. When actress Lynda Bellingham, 62, met her third husband, Michael Pattemore, in she assumed "he wouldn't fancy me".

Reaching my 50s was an unsettling time, and I felt that my romantic life was over. And that kind of assumption is something which holds a lot of women back, claims Julia Macmillan. She is on a mission to help women to tackle their something love drought by doing what men do — going younger. Macmillan, 49, has set up toyboywarehouse.

Younger men are nowadays desperate to meet older women, she claims, and she has more men than women looking for love on her site. Our battle is to change women's mindset and get women to believe that there are younger men who want what they are, experienced, strong-willed, confident.

Men in their mids slow down, women are dynamic and full of energy. We need to match that energy. We have a lot of happy matches. But nor does everyone feel that they will find love on the web. Topics Online dating The Observer. Relationships Internet Dating Middle age features. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading?

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If you are an average to poor looking bloke then you would be happy with a middle of the road looking women because even with her you would be doing well. If you are a successful man with great looks and confidence you likely have no need to using dating sites anyway. So attractiveness is relative. For this I would also have to say yes but very few. You might be looking for that sort of thing but I would suggest you change your mind set or forever be the lonely guy who only gets 40 year old dating scraps left over from many a man.

Most young women are looking for something much deeper and relationship oriented. The ease with which you find no strings dating will be determined by both your attractiveness and your willingness to stoop below your normal standards.

Having said all that I still think that a real spiritual connection and love for another women is what you should really be looking for. Fulfill Sexual Desires and Fantasies with out exclusive hookup tips. I am a young 71 yr old man looking for NSA fuck buddy. Am in a relationship with not much sex.

Haven't had a blow job in over five years. Am adventurous and willing to try new things. Nice post, like it! For more info http: Memories seem to form around events with others. I think we can both agree that the beautiful people and the wealthy people are mostly not alone. That is what drives people to want others. Become one of those as best you can and when something comes along hold on to it. I am really upset and angry because here I am trusting in God praying my eyes out seeking God with all of my heart.

In the word 24 hours beside working. Building up my husband helping him to grow our business. And the rat cheats on me going on craiglist looking for hookers. Can you imagine that I found over 20 girls whom he contacted I called all of them some numbers were disconnected.

Most Thank God he could not get thru to most of them they were busy. So far I have found 2 only he slept with. I am a good woman very much into GOD. Hi, Thanks for sharing such a interesting story and theme of life. Every body needs family supports at every stage, but people tendency is very wrong, if they are getting success then forget their family.

If they got cajole by anyone then remember family. I know how hard it can be. Sometimes we have to wind up like Job never getting ahead until finally there is a breakthru. Here I am feeling sad for myself for being alone on Christmas day when there are so many other people who need encouraging right now. I think the hardest thing is to get out of our own head and reach out to others in need. I pray that each and every one of you is able to go to the Lord and cry your heart out if you must, tell him how you feel and just lay everything at his feet.

The bible says that the afflictions of the righteous are many, but the Lord delivers us from them all. God Bless you all. I think lonely people get lonely. I work full time, serve as a keyboardist at my church, go to gym every day, and have a few other odd hobbies like sharpening and restoring vintage straight razors.

I think sitting alone at home on the weekends reminds you of your loneliness. I say, keep in touch with your family and friends, and keep yourself active. I suggest you pick a hobby — learn to play a musical instrument, volunteer, learn to cook, etc. I am lonely,widowed to late Judith who passed away in February ,left me with five children. Looking for a single christian devoted woman aged between 25 to 40 years from all over the world ready to take care and conform my soulful life.

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